When Your Closet Grows Up But Your Couch Doesn’t
We’ve Evolved. Our Home Hasn’t.
Over the last 10 or so years, Bob and I have changed. Our styles have evolved. Our businesses have grown. Even our tastes in food, travel, and art have all matured in natural and subtle ways. We’ve become more daring— bold enough to make decisions about who we are and how we want to show up in the world, with confidence along the way. But that mindset somewhat stops at our closets. That moment when we come home the story feels a bit…off. Our outside appearance and our inside appearance don’t fully align.
The harsh truth? Our space just hasn't caught up with where we are as people. We’re living in a home that still looks and feels like it was thrown together by our less traveled, less authentic and let’s-buy-it-because-it’s-on-sale version of ourselves. Ten years ago, we were freshly married, optimistic, and um, with a modest income. And although I believe we have the most comfortable couch ever, it is the same couch that’s collected spills and crumbs from when the kids were little. The “art” on those walls? TJ Maxx forever editions that are always in stock. And our dining table, with its paint splatters and endless knicks and marks and coffee rings after long mornings is… just not us anymore.
There’s a serious disconnect that lingers after a long day with clients or a night out with industry professionals. Would our home represent who we are the way our wardrobe does? Sure, getting home after a tiring day should be, and is, comfortable. But every now and then I hear “womp, womp” when I look around.
And we finally got fed up enough to do something about it.
When You Outgrow Your Environment
We’ve put so much effort into curating our outward identity—what we wear, how we carry ourselves, the tone we take in meetings, the polish on our websites. For the most part, our outward appearance is very important given the industry we’re in. We make our clients look good and so we look good doing it. But it’s easy to neglect the one space that actually holds us: our home.
Like many of us in a growth period, I justified decisions we’ve made for our home. I told myself that I like an eclectic style, that I’m not “matchy-matchy,” that things didn’t need to make sense as long as I liked each item on its own (which in its own way is authentic because I like a lot of things!). But eventually, I had to admit that I wasn’t collecting things—I was accumulating. While my closet reflected my current joy, my curiosity, and my changing moods, my home… looked more like a storage unit of sentimental leftovers.
And while I may not believe that every room in a house has to be photo-shoot ready, I do believe this: your environment should support the version of you that you’re stepping into—not the one you’ve already outgrown.
Bob’s Style (and Confidence) Transformation
This may be a controversial statement, but in my observation, men's style changes less frequently than women’s style. I’ve seen this phenomenon with me and Bob. His evolution into his personal style– which is expressive with bold colors, patterns and fun shoe details– was much more gradual, but no less important. What I noticed? His style shifted as his confidence grew. He started taking more risks both in business and in fashion. And it happened simultaneously. His look now reflects who he is—CEO of an award-winning PR agency who knows his worth but has a playful side.
And yet, the man who I’ve watched grow up his wardrobe and perfect his smooth-talking pitch deck was still walking into a space that looked like it belonged to someone who was afraid to mix textures.
The moment I realized that Bob was feeling the same thing I was feeling was a mindset shift. We felt like we were dragging the past into our future.
But Isn’t This Just...Vanity?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Like it or not, we live in a world where appearances matter. If filters, lip filler, and the beauty industry aren’t loud enough, I’ll say it: People will interpret who we are based on how we present ourselves—our clothes, our homes, even our coffee tables. A worn-out sofa can trigger quiet judgments, just like a stained shirt can make someone question your energy, discipline, or health. And with most of our lives lived online and in photos, a little vanity makes a big difference. Questioning how my home might be perceived by others? Yeah, there’s a bit of vanity there too. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t typically care what people think about me–I care much more about what I think of me. However I’m aware enough to know that people make assumptions and judgements regardless.
These judgments aren’t always fair, but they can sting. And more importantly, they can influence how we feel about ourselves when we aren’t fully aligned. So, when your outer world doesn’t match your inner growth and all the work you’ve put toward improving your inner self, harsh words can chip away at your energy. You feel stuck or out of sync. Or slightly out of place in your own life.
Rediscovery Through Redesign
I’m often inspired by some of the beautiful places we visit around the city. In particular, I love the look and feel of hotel lobbies (that feeling when you’re about to check into a hotel and the lobby makes you feel right at home? Green flags for me!). Bob is inspired by wonderfully styled restaurants with sleek, sexy vibes. So we had a bright idea: take the things we love about these places and rework them in our home. We hired Sandra Chavez, an interior designer with vision and intuition, to help us reimagine our space—not to impress anyone, but to feel at home in our own story again.
Working with Sandra reminded us that design isn't just aesthetics—it’s emotional. She asked questions we hadn’t thought to ask:
How do you want to feel when you walk into your living room?
What colors soothe you?
What parts of your personality have never been reflected in your space?
“Design starts with listening and understanding how you live, what inspires you, and the culture that shapes your story,” Chavez says. “I avoid chasing trends and focus on creating timeless, functional spaces that reflect your unique style. In the end, it’s about creating a home that feels like you and tells your story.”
It was a shift. One that gave us permission to evolve.
We’ve also been deeply inspired by designers like Anne Shrader of City Haus Chicago, who approach interiors with the belief that every space should be a true extension of its people. Anne, along with her business partner and daughter, Elle, have a collection of art, decor, objects and such that felt like a discovery for me. As mentioned earlier, I like a lot of things– and City Haus has an abundance of things for me to love. Except this time, there are pieces that reflect my matured sense of style. The first time I met Anne, my perspective was immediately changed.
“I always encourage people to look at the quieter details of their wardrobe or daily routine—those subtle choices often reflect who they really are,” Shrader says. “Is there a color you reach for again and again because it makes you feel something? Does your style lean classic and calm, or is it bold, textured, or a little eclectic? Those same qualities can and should be echoed in your home. It’s less about following trends and more about translating your personal energy into your space.”
These questions and conversations helped us reconnect with the way we want to live, not just how we want to be seen.
When the Inner and Outer Finally Match
Change can be difficult. Whether you’re still in the personal phase figuring out who you’ve become or want to become, or you’re right here with me in the middle of the interior home phase, there will be challenges. You might feel uneasy about asking yourself why you’ve collected 15 fake succulent plants or explaining to those closest to you that you no longer love drinking out of reused mason jars (I use my mason jars to store cilantro and other veggies so please keep them!). This isn’t just about redesigning for resale value or impressing guests with fancy new things. Transformation, inside and out, is about aligning your life in a way that meets you where you are. I am in a place now where I want my home to support the life I’m building instead of anchoring to the life I’ve already left behind.
Maybe for you, that means repainting a wall. Swapping out old rugs. Letting go of the “just for now” pieces that outwore their welcome. Maybe it just starts with a question: Does my home still reflect who I am?
You Deserve to Feel at Home—in Your Clothes and in Your Home
I don’t want anyone reading this to think, “My home is an embarrassment”. Your home is not an embarrassment. But it might not be a full reflection of who you have grown into. And that can make you feel uncomfortable–the same way you might feel uncomfortable wearing clothes from your teenage years today. Maybe your closet is thriving but your living room is stuck in 2002. You're not alone. A lot of us have done tremendous work to grow, heal, and step into our next chapter—without giving ourselves the space to live inside it–yet.
That’s changing for us and we’re excited to be on this journey with experts and professionals who will help us along the way. And if you're ready, it can change for you, too.
We’ll be sharing more on these upcoming chapters as we redesign our home. In the meantime, I’d love to hear:
What’s one corner, chair, or cupboard in your home that no longer reflects you?
What’s one shift you’re ready to make?
Our past experiences have helped shape who we are. The stains on your favorite couch are part of your history. But growth allows us to take a deep breath…and let go. Then we can start designing for the people we’ve become.
